Change your self-talk, change your life

by Werner Schmidt, Coach, Consultant & Creative and MyPlayers Benefit Partner

Leadership from a 20-year-old rugby professional

“I don’t know whether this is too early,” said a 20-year-old rugby professional, “but I want your help in starting my first business, on the side.”

“Too early?” I replied. “This may be the perfect time to start designing your career for the long term.”

Did you catch the reframe? The shift from uncertainty —“I don’t know whether this is too early” — to empowerment:  “This is the perfect time”.

By reframing our mindset, we can change the course of our lives. What we think, influences what we say and do, which in turn shapes our results. Reflecting on our results leads to new insights and further changes in thinking, creating a continuous cycle of life and career improvement.

Think. Say. Do. Achieve. Reflect. Improve. Repeat.

Our values are shaped by the habits we develop. Values are the time, attention, and money we invest in what’s important to us — spiritual, self-care, relationships, health, work, hobbies, etcetera.

How do you talk to yourself about your current life chapter and future? In this article, you’ll find a powerful tool — reframing — that can help you play the game of life more effectively and beautifully in the long run.

Start thinking about your future now

As a rugby professional, your career is intense and rewarding, but shorter than most other careers. When retiring from the game, e.g. in your thirties, you could have 60 or 70 years ahead of you — your lifespan. How long would you like to enjoy health and physical independence — your desired health span? How long would you like to remain financially independent — your desired wealth span? And how long would you like to contribute your skills and leadership to others — your contribution span?

Your self-talk plays a crucial role in shaping your decisions and plans for life, now and beyond the pitch. Let’s explore a common self-talk mistake that professional rugby players make — often without realising its long-term consequences — and how reframing can fix it.

I don’t have the time / I’m too busy / I’ll design my future later

You’re contracted to give your all to the game with training, matches, recovery, and personal time consuming most of your year. When I discuss career design with MyPlayers members — business ventures or employment models — it’s clear that your lives are full and busy.

You might think, and tell yourself:

– I don’t have time right now to design my future career.

– I’m too busy right now.

– I’ll think about my future later.

The future and past only exist in our minds — in reality, we only have the present moment. 

This moment is a gift — hence, it’s called “The Present”

When you reach that future date you’ve been thinking about, you’ll still only have that present moment to think or take action. So why not reframe your self-talk like the player in the introduction: Now is the perfect time to start designing my career for the long term.

The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago, the second-best time is now. – Chinese proverb

I invite you to steal back some of your own time, now, by reframing your thinking. Instead of telling yourself, “I don’t have time”, try saying, “I can steal 15 minutes per day to think about my future” or “I can use 15 minutes, twice per day, to improve my life”.

Find a quiet place with pen and paper, or your preferred device. Start writing about improving your life, and your future plans. Over time, you’ll gain clarity on your goals — whether they relate to health, wealth, relationships, work, or any other area of importance to you.

Typically, your goals will start with phrases like:

– I want to …

– I will …

– I wish …

– I dream …

This is a great start, but once you’ve identified what you want from life, it’s essential to take action. Steady progress toward your goals will lead to all-round, long-term well-being.

Reframe: From ‘I want’ to ‘I achieve’

Many people go through life wanting to achieve goals without ever taking action. For example:

– I want to lose weight.

– I want to improve my fitness.

– I want to start a business.

Personal leadership is the key to moving from “I want” to “I achieve”. Complete your list of goals, then decide which ones need to be activated now. Map out action steps for each goal and integrate these steps into your daily planning. Your to-do list is a contract with yourself — honour it by taking regular steps. Remember, your first steps are towards designing a model that works, for every goal — it won’t take up much time but is critical for success. Reflect on your progress, adjust your direction, and keep moving! Think. Say. Do. Achieve. Reflect. Improve. Repeat …

Reframe: From planning to action

Reframing the game of life is more than just planning for your future, it’s about actively shaping it. By challenging and changing your self-talk, you ensure that your actions today set you up for success, today, tomorrow, and beyond the professional rugby chapter of your career. Remember, your career on the field may be temporary, but the impact you can make off the field, now and in the future, is limitless.

For more information, contact Werner at info@wernerschmidt.co.za or +27 64 141 4341. The first conversation is free of charge. All MyPlayers members receive a 15% discount on Werner’s career design proposals — from entrepreneurship to employment careers.